It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
