brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
