sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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