i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize