Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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