escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
