if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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