You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
