actually, I'm a sock model
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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