Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
