we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
