He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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