she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm at about main and main street
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
