i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
