So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
