I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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