Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
