Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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