Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
