I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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