When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
