your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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