It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
