You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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