he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
