He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.