We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
time to smoke my breakfast
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.