don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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