She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
