You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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