I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
