That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
