$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
