when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
