Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
