i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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