I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
