i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
