Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
