The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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