Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
