I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
