Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
