Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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