sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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