but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
