his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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