i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
