Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
