So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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