You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
