The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize