Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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