So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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