i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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