Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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