ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
