So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
