Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize