our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
