can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
