I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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