I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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