"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My vagina is officially offended.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
