a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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