I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
