sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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