I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
