Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
